Faking It Real

I started working out using P90X, which is famous for its "muscle confusion" approach. Muscle confusion is when a workout keeps the muscles from plateauing. The workout is great, but there is a slight problem with the DVDs I bought. You see, they were supposed to come from Montana, but once I ordered the P90X DVDs from Ebay, I got a confirmation that my order was shipping from China. No, not China, Montana, but China across the sea. As a result (and as you could guess), the P90X DVDs I received were counterfeits! Besides smelling like cheap ink and the obvious spelling mistakes, such as "Are Yoo Readyto Bring IT ?", the DVDs don't work!!! I can Kempo X all I want, but I've never been able to Plyometrics-it-up! Consequently, I called Ebay to complain, and request my money back. They happily obliged. However, I have to send back my pirated copy, which means that I am now P90X-less. Sad day. Well, at least I'll have the real thing in about 5-7 business days. Until then, I'm going to get fat! Hmm... Now, where did I leave that cookie dough?